Its Been A While

I know I know I know, I keep disappearing.  Well I am here to stay now.  My folk have been on me about my responsibility to disseminate information to the massess, so I have dealt with my own apprehensions and decided that the selfishness I have been using as an excuse not to be visible is no more.
 I hope that you have not forgotten about me and would still like to engage in some great conversation that will someday lead to change the black graduate student experience. Let me know. 

I'm BACK!!!!

Hey my folks, I know one has a limited amount of "my bads" in the tank, so I"m hoping that I have not filled up my tank. I have (like most of you) have gone through a great deal over the past year. i am finally an Almost Black Doctor (ABD) and the hazing process is at its highest peak. Stay tune I have Plenty of good stuff coming later. Thanks again for holding me down.

The Decline of the word "Black"

Have you noticed that their has been a decline of the word black? Folks in the social sciences are using the term "minority" to include other racial groups such as hispanics/latinos, native americans, asians, etc. Out of no disrepect to any other groups, I believe that this is a way to divert the attention of way from black people and the issues that have plagued us for centuries. I think that this is another way to "water" down black issues by including them with the issues of others. I see it in the classroom, literature, at conferences, etc. Its everywhere. When I speak of black issues, some of my colleagues "respectfully" chime in and state, "its not just the black people, or we cannot not exclude other minorities." Well I say this, we should clean up the first mess before we start cleaning up mess #2,3, and so forth. I too have been responsible for this, by starting organizations and programs that I wanted just for blacks but have been asked to name it "minority" to not exclude others. Is this such a bad thing? Is this the way to advance blacks in the academic field by including all minorities?

Balance

I often find it difficult trying to maintain a balance of selfish (but necessary) aspirations and service. Most of my mentors are constantly beating my head in about focusing on the things that I need to do that will benefit me the most. I struggle with wanting to help other black folk that see me in a position to provide assistance to them. This is and has been (I have been told) a problem that will always be there. I appreciate the love and accept the responsibility of holding down my people but must admit the internal struggle does exists.

Out of Touch

I must first apologize for not staying on my dean but no excuses are acceptable. I would like to thank my followers for all the love and ask for their forgiveness. I am back on and will be much more active from this day forward.

Every Day I Gotta Fight To Prove My Love

I have been working on a journal publication with my black female student colleague, a white male professor who teaches in our department and a black male colleague of his that teaches at another institution. We each had our respective sections of the paper to work on which were completed with no issues. The closer we got to finishing the paper, we (myself and the black female student) were asked to work together on minor corrections such as editing, formatting, etc. We would meet and she would submit our work. The professor in our department called me to inform me that I need to be more vocal about my contributions when collaborating on papers; he claims that the black professor posed the question to him because the female submitted the emails. He said that I need to do a better job of letting everyone else know that I did my part; at the same time, he was not questioning if I had actually done the work, he just thought that this was a great opportunity for a "teachable moment." Really? I was personally and professionally offended. I informed him that I did not give up my past life to cheat my way to a Ph.d. I also told him that if he was sure that I had done the work, we would not be having this conversation. It appeared to be useless to send an additional email to say "I just wanted you to know that I did my part." My colleague just happened to be at the computer while we worked on the paper together. I immediately informed him that he was bringing negative energy to me and I wanted no part of it. I asked to be removed from the publication, in which he pleaded with me not to because it would appear that he failed as a "mentor." I felt that he questioned my ethics and gave the impression that I wanted a handout. He did not want me to see right thru his B.S. He did not expect for me to recognize that he in fact was questioning my contribution. It seems as though "Everyday I Gotta Fight To Prove My Love."

Man Cannot Serve Two Masters

As I have shared before, I attend a white institution. Last week I gave a lecture at a HBCU and it invigorated me. The opportunity to feel the energy of a black college environment was refreshing, necessary, purposeful and overwhelming. The response I received from students and faculty were self absorbed yet at the same time I knew that I had an impact on them. I entered the room very confident about me, my purpose and excited about what the future holds for me in the academy. I left the HBCU confused about all three aspects. Where is my purpose best served? Am I to teach at a white establishment (like the one I attend) and only touch the lives of a small number of black students or am I to teach at an HBCU where there are more people that look like me, more people that I relate to, more people that may have faced some of the "speed bumps" that I have endured on the quest of dream chasing? Am I to breath hope in those that I only come in contact with or am I to do it on another level? Understanding that there are a small number of black male criminologists in the academy, understanding that white institutions have more access to resources that will give me the opportunity to affect policy, effectively impact the mental paradigm shift on how whites view blacks, effectively show the white and black students that black men are not identified by what the media, society or a majority of the criminal justice literature says about us being in jail or dead, this is a struggle.

Where should blacks serve their purposes best, white institutions or HBCUs?

A man cannot serve two masters.